Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) is a twitter account which “live” tweets some of the stranger details of historical witch trials. Using contemporary sources from the 16th and 17th Century, witch court’s “reporter”, Richard Osmond, curates a rolling feed of historically-fascinating hubble, bubble toil and trouble.
If you follow this spooky account for any length of time, one thing becomes very clear: witches love animals – both ordinary animals kept as pets and bizarre monsters kept for their magickal abilities. And the names these witches choose for their companions are… pretty weird.
So whether you’re an apprentice sorcerer in search of a familiar in time for Halloween, or a hipster wanting a retro name for your new wire-haired wiener dog, check out these 34 examples of @witchcourt’s wildest witch-pets.
1: A shapeshifting cat-toad named Satan
A witch kept her cat, Satan, in a comfy pot of wool. She needed the wool, so turned him into a toad, which didn't need wool. #chelmsford1566
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) March 29, 2016
2: Three spirits named Great Dick, Little Dick and Willet
Ellen Smith kept three spirits in her house. Their names were Great Dick, Little Dick and Willet. #chelmsford1579
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) April 14, 2016
3: A clingy imp named Tom
Mother Noke said she didn't care about accusations of witchcraft as long as she had her demon imp Tom clinging to her side. #chelmsford1579
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) April 18, 2016
4: A defenestrating dog named Bunne
The witch had a devil in the form of a small black dog called Bunne. He pushed one of her enemies out of a window. #kent1645
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) May 4, 2016
5: A fat, legless hariy dog named Jarmara
15 mins after the devil left, a fat white dog named Jarmara with sandy spots & no legs would appear. #essex1645 pic.twitter.com/QMKRG2LOPI
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) May 7, 2016
6: A greyhound with the head of an ox named Vinegar Tom
Jarmara was followed by another imp, Vinegar Tom. He was a long-legged greyhound with the head of an ox. #essex1645 pic.twitter.com/g6ITFq05JD
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) May 8, 2016
7: A black rabbit named “Sack & Sugar”
A third imp appeared to the witch. He was a black rabbit named "Sack and Sugar". #essex1645 pic.twitter.com/uguR4DF0sf
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) May 8, 2016
8: A soup-loving white dog named Elimanzer
A witch kept a white dog called Elimanzer and fed him on thickened milk soup. He was the devil and told her to deny Christ. #essex1645
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) May 15, 2016
9: Three genital-sucking imps named Wynowe, Jeso and Panu
Three black imps suckled on a witch's genitals. Their names were Wynowe, Jeso and Panu. #essex1645
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) May 23, 2016
10: A grey kite named Tomboy
A witch offered her daughter an imp: a grey kite called Tomboy. She also promised her a cat. #essex1645
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) May 23, 2016
11: Three genital lumps named Littleman, Pretty-man and Dainty
After cutting 3 lumps off her genitals, Marian gave her sister Sarah 3 little imps named Littleman, Pretty-man and Dainty. #essex1645
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) June 14, 2016
12: Rug.
One of Joyce's imps was called Rug. #essex1645
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) June 16, 2016
13: A mouse-thing and a yellow cat-thing named Susan and Besse, respectively
Susan the imp was a mouse-like creature. Besse the imp was yellow and the size of a cat. #essex1645
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) June 17, 2016
14: A trio of black moles named Susan, Amie and Margaret
Rebecca's three black mole-like imps were named Susan, Amie and Margaret. #essex1645
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) June 19, 2016
15: Two moles named Jack and Prickeare and an unimaginatively-named frog named Frog
Johan Cooper had three imps. Two were like moles, named Jack and Prickeare. One was like a frog, named Frog. #essex1645
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) June 20, 2016
16: Three mice named James, Prickeare and Robyn, and an unimaginatively-named sparrow named Sparrow
Anne Cate had four imps. Three were like mice, named James, Prickeare and Robyn. One was like a sparrow, named Sparrow. #essex1645
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) June 20, 2016
17: Two helpful devils named Tibbe and Fancie
After the witch's banquet, two devils named Tibbe and Fancie cleared everyone's plates. #1612
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) July 15, 2016
18: A brown ghost dog named Ball
Jennet stood on a table in the courtroom and told of the many murders committed by her mother and her ghost dog, Ball. #pendle1612
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) August 31, 2016
19: A murderous dog named Dandy
Duckworth promised the boy his old shirt, but later refused to give it to him. The black dog, whose name was Dandy, killed him. #pendle1612
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) September 3, 2016
20: A ‘kitlin’ and a ‘moldiwarp’ named Puss and Hiss
Ellen's two spirits took the form of a Kitlin (kitten) and a Moldiwarp (mole) which she called Puss and Hiss, respectively. #lincoln1618
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) November 4, 2016
21: A disgruntled cat named Rutterkin
Rubbed with wet gloves, bloody wool & a damp hanky & ordered to fly off & do harm, Rutterkin the cat mewed & did nothing. #lincoln1618
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) November 8, 2016
22: A shapeshifting brown chicken called ‘the thing’
The spirit, which the Throckmorton children called "the thing", appeared in many forms, but most often as a brown chicken. #warboys1593
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) January 5, 2017
23: Six chickens named Pluck, Catch, White, Smack, Smack and Smack
Of the 6 chickens, 3 were named "Pluck", "Catch" & "White". The other 3 were summoned by the witch making a lip-smacking sound #warboys1593
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) February 1, 2017
24: An enigmatic devil named HARDNAME
There was a devil called Hardname. HARDNAME was not his real name, but an acronym for his real 8-word-name, which no-one knew. #warboys1593
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) February 5, 2017
25: A devil dog named George and a devil woman named Jezzabel
A witch had two familiars which he allowed to suckle on his body: a dog named George and a woman named Jezzabel. #stalbans1649
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) February 25, 2017
26: A bloodthirsty cat named Gille
A witch was aided in her witchcraft by a black cat named Gille, which she fed with a mixture of milk and her own blood. #windsor1579 pic.twitter.com/LSQbuSZwx8
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) March 15, 2017
27: An equally bloodthirsty kitten named Ginnie
A witch, who walked on crutches, fed a kitten named Ginnie crumbs of bread mixed with her own blood. #windsor1579
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) March 15, 2017
28: A bloodthirsty rat named Philip
Elizabeth Stile, also known as Rockingham, kept a rat named Philip and fed it on her own blood. #windsor1579
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) March 15, 2017
29: A jailbreak accomplice named Bunne
The witch's black cat Bunne came to the jail to break her out, but she sent him away so as to appear to be a model prisoner. #windsor1579
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) March 20, 2017
30: A malicious white puppy named Lilly
The white puppy's name was Lilly. Lilly's job was to harm men, women and children. #hunts1646
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) September 21, 2017
31: An equally malicious black puppy named Priscill
The black puppy's name was Priscill. Priscill's job was to harm cattle whenever the witch wanted. #hunts1646
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) September 21, 2017
32: A cattle-killing puppy named Pretty
Margaret named her black puppy Pretty & kept it in her bed. She gave it to Francis & told her to use it to curse cattle to death. #hunts1646
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) September 26, 2017
33: A cat with a particular set of skills named Tiffy
Goodwife Weed gave Francis a white cat named Tiffy. It would kill people on command. #hunts1646
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) September 26, 2017
34: And lastly, the 17th Century version of pet rocks: a log and a stick named Beelzebub and Trullibub
Accused of having 2 imps named Beelzebub & Trullibub, a witch said those were just names she had for a log & a twig, respectively #hunts1646
— Witch Court Reporter (@witchcourt) October 1, 2017
To read more insanity from the world of historical witch trials, go to twitter.com/witchcourt